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Routine: Wake up, skip breakfast just a cup of coffee then look through your thinsperation photos. Weigh yourself before you shower, and then weigh yourself after. Damn one pound more than yesterday, I’ll have to work harder. Go to your job or to school. “No I’m not hungry I had a big breakfast today but thanks any way.” All the while you can’t stop thinking about eating. Finally, time to go home. Weigh yourself again, all right down a little, that’s great. Think I’ll put on a pair of shorts and grab my MP3 player and do some running. That’ll get rid of some additional pounds too, hopefully. Still panting, that was a great run, still some time to hit the weights and do some crunches, I better get busy with that. Jumps on the scale again hoping it will have changed drastically, no such luck. Think I’ll take a shower now.
Later the phone rings, it’s your friend asking if you want to go out to have some fun and grab a bite to eat. The words grab a bite to eat make you cringe. You visualize the horrors of the fast food circuit. Fatty sandwiches dripping with grease, more calories in that one meal than you would eat in a week. “No I can’t too busy today, maybe next time, thanks” as you hang up the phone.
Your mom calls you down to dinner, or maybe you cooked dinner for the family, either way your stomach growls but you don’t eat. A bite of this and a bite of that and I’ll be fine. Of course you quickly go and write down the amount of calories you just consumed, totaling up your calories for the day. Hmmmm, you think to yourself, “not a bad day 340 calories total, but I can do better tomorrow”. Just 27 more pounds until I reach my goal weight, but is that weight low enough? Maybe I can go lower? Yes, I can go lower 37 more pounds until I reach my goal weight. Then you go online or to your favorite magazine looking for more thinspirational pictures to add to your collection. Hunger keeps you from getting a good nights sleep, as it does most nights but you don’t care. What you do care about are the numbers on the scale.
Although every one is different this is generally the life of someone with an eating disorder. You can even add to this the nightmares of binging and purging, and the list goes on. You gradually draw away from friends and from family. As you continue to lose weight the concerned comments come more and more frequently, “you’re too thin”, “you should eat something”, “you need to see a doctor”, then eventually they become less subtle and say “you’re sick, you have an eating disorder you need to get help!”
Does this sound like a fun life? A happy life?, A life worth envying? Certainly not yet so many young men and women do just that. They imagine that being thin will bring greater happiness than what they are experiencing right now, that’s the trap. Not only will they not be happier but additionally they will have the health problems that go along with being eating disordered. Happiness? Far from it. Misery and suffering are the order of the day, day after day after day. Your mind is always so consumed with thoughts like “how many calories are in that?” and “Oh no, how many calories did I eat today? I think I forgot to write some down.” This is not life, especially not a happy life. What then is the answer? Well if you are already eating disordered there is but one answer, recovery. Yes recovery from your eating disorder. If you need to go to a hospital or clinic to accomplish that then do it, it’s well worth it. If you can do it on your own, that’s great too! It is neither an easy step to take nor an easy road to follow. It takes strength and courage. For those who have built up in them the strength and courage to fight this battle, they are finally happy. If you are not eating disordered now then there is but one choice for you too, NEVER fall into this terrible trap! Don’t let an eating disorder rob you of the joys of life. Life is worth living if you make it that way. Don’t ruin your life by becoming eating disordered. Keep on enjoying life, every day counting your blessings, you will never regret it.
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